#21 EXPERIENCED FEAR WHILE WAITING FOR CANCER TEST RESULTS
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Welcome back to Faith Walk with Debbie. I shared the last time how I had a PET scan and the results caused me a lot of fear. I am going to continue sharing how the devil used multiple tests to instill fear in my mind and emotions.
The following Wednesday, April 21, 2021 I had the CT scan with contrast. I knew because of the contrast I would have to have an IV. I didn’t think they could do it in my port so I had not numbed it. After I got there, I was told I could have had it in my port. I hate needles especially IV needles. I had prepared myself for the fact that I was going to have to have an IV so I went ahead and had her insert it. I asked for a small needle. I could not believe how much it hurt when she inserted it.
The table to the CT scan was wider than the PET scan. The CT scan I laid so they inserted me feet first instead of head first like they did with the PET scan. I found that interesting that they were two different directions. I was inserted into the machine where a couple pictures were taken. The nurse then came back and inserted the contrast into the IV. I asked if that would make my butt feel like it was on fire when it went in. She said yes. I’ve had that done before and it feels so weird. While she put the contrast in, she told me to hold my arm up in the air. That was different. She didn’t tell me to lower my arm and because I had the cloth over my eyes I could not tell when she left. So I kept it raised. They moved my body into the machine again. I felt my arm hit the side of the machine. I was then told I could put my arm down. That time I did not feel my butt on fire. I asked her why. She said because I had asked her to use a smaller IV needle she had to insert the contrast slower and therefore it didn’t give the typical reaction. The CT scan only took about 10 minutes. I left.
The week I was waiting for the test results I really struggled with fear. I tried to have faith but fear overpowered faith. I was anointed twice at church for good test results and for fear to leave. Honestly I didn’t really feel any better.
However, God knew how much I was struggling with fear and he encouraged me in a way I never expected.
The evening after I had the CT scan I got a call from my gynecologist. She is the doctor who strongly encouraged me to share my story through You Tube Videos. She said she never gets any of my test results and she got the CT scan results. Because of that, she studied my case notes for a half an hour to try to figure out what was going on. She strongly felt impressed by God to call and encourage me. She looked at the CT results and to her it looked like I had infection in the lungs but that was not her area of expertise. She said God’s promise still stands. She said she got a positive impression that I’m going to be OK. She said that I’m to go to the doctor appointment and get the test results but no-matter what they are I’m to know that I will be fine because God still has a purpose for me.
I was in total amazement. God knew that I was full of fear regarding the test results. God used my gynecologist to speak through her to give me hope and encouragement. She is an amazing woman who really is being used by God! Then later that evening I got a text from her. She actually gave me her personal cell number. She said I needed to listen to the song “Do It Again” by Elevation Worship. I listened to it and it helped to build my confidence and took away some of the fear I had been struggling with for a week.
The next day I was amazed at how peaceful I felt. I know it’s because of God speaking to me the night before through my gynecologist. My husband and I went to the oncology appointment. I refused to go by myself. I needed my husband’s support. I was amazed at the words that came out of the doctor’s mouth! He said he was, “Happy with the Cat scan results!” That was such a relief. He said I had inflammation but because I was not blowing junk or coughing stuff up I did not need an antibiotic. I had been struggling with sinus drainage for the last couple months and an antibiotic didn’t help it. He thought maybe they were connected. He said he just wanted me to have another CT scan in five weeks to check to see how I was doing. So I prayed that God will heal my lungs in the meantime.
During this time I taught a bible study on the Armor of God. As I was preparing for it, God gave me a nugget that really helped me mentally deal with the stress of uncertainty. I plan to share more in detail in a future post but I will share the important part that really helped me here. Sometimes we want to blame the devil for all of our circumstances. The fact is, we live in a fallen world so life may not be pleasant. Sometimes what I call “life” just happens. So we can’t blame everything on the devil. However, the devil will take our circumstances and do what he can to feed out mind lies which in turn affects our emotions negatively. Therefore, we need to be alert and pay attention when our mind starts going down a negative path. We need to not give in to the lies of the enemy and focus on the promises of God. When we do that, it can really help us emotionally also. So I had to recognize that the enemy was trying to cause me to fear the test results. I chose to recognize that as a lie. Instead I chose to believe that by Jesus’s stripes I was healed and that God would give me a good report!.
The following Monday April 26th, I had an echocardiogram. This was my 3 month routine test so make sure that the cancer treatment was not causing any heart issues. Thankfully the test results came back normal!
On May 3, 2021, something totally unexpected happened. I was talking to a lady in my building about my website. All of a sudden I felt like I was going to pass out and my heart began to race really fast. I sat down. Then I told her I needed to get back to my office. Once I got back to my office, I sat down and slowly my heart quit pounding so fast. I wasn’t sure what had happened. I really didn’t think it was my heart since I had just had all of the heart tests last year and overall everything was good.
I decided since I still wasn’t feel well the next day to go to my regular doctor. He agreed it wasn’t my heart. He said it could possibly be anxiety but he wanted me to see a lung specialist. I asked him if he thought I had cancer. He would not answer and the look on his face scared me. A week later I saw the lung specialist. I was very nervous but tried to believe that God would answer my prayers with a positive report. I insisted my husband go with me as support. I thank the Lord the lung specialist said it was not cancer. He said I had minor radiation damage from the radiation. He was puzzled about an area on my left side. I said that was where I had surgery for the Thymoma. He instantly said that was scarred tissue. He gave me prednisone to help with the inflammation. I had developed a cough over the last few weeks. He said the cough was from the inflammation and nasal drainage. The prednisone totally took the cough away.
Then on May 27th I had a second CT scan. Thankfully the oncologist said it had improved. The lymph node that showed something on the previous scan was normal. I was relieved that the test results were getting better. My cough basically had gone away. However, I still felt stressed and anxious on occasion. I think everything I had gone through the last 17 months had really affected me emotionally.
I knew that acupuncture had really helped me before. I had not been able to see my acupuncturist for the last 6 months because he had had a severe concussion. Thankfully on June 7th I finally saw him. He said considering all I had been through I was doing remarkably. He gave me a treatment that helped my anxiety. By the next day, I could tell a big difference in how I felt. I didn’t feel as jittery inside.
Another adjustment that I dealt with during this time was with my hair. Somewhere in April of 2021 my hair had grown back long enough to not have to wear a wig. However the top and sides did not blend together to look good. So I began to wear headbands. People told me they really like the new look. It felt so good to not have to wear wigs or hats all the time. By wearing my own hair, it began to help me feel more normal.
This post now has brought me up to date in my cancer journey. As I go along my journey in the future, from time to time, I will post my progress. I will also continue to occasionally post about spiritual topics. I definitely want to share more about dealing with anxiety, fear, divorce and finances. So stay tuned for more to come in the future from what God has taught me through my journey in life in many area.
I want to leave you with this reminder: Joshua 1:9 (NLT) “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” So again no matter what we go through we can be confident that God is with us.
Next time, I am going to do something a little bit different. It was suggested that I interview others who have experienced cancer. Every person’s story is a little bit different. Next time, I hope you join me as Misty Hollis shares her breast cancer experience.
