#1 HOW MY CANCER STORY BEGAN
MY STORY began February 3, 2020. I sat in the waiting room after having my annual mammogram. I waited for the nurse to say everything was OK so I could go back to work. Eventually the nurse appeared. She said they found something and wanted me to follow her. I was briefly stunned as I followed. She explained, I needed an ultrasound to confirm what the mammogram showed. I could have it done then or come back later. I decided since I was already there to just get it over with so I could get back to work and on with my day.
I laid on the table in shock as the ultrasound tech ran the device over and around my right breast. I mentally cried out… GOD WHAT’S HAPPENING? ARE THEY GOING TO FIND SOMETHING? I’M SCARED!!!!…. As soon as I was done, they escorted me to the Nurse Navigator’s office.
The Nurse Navigator explained the ultrasound confirmed something was there. She scheduled an appointment for the next day with a SURGEON!!!! Internally I screamed WHAT?!?!?! I could not believe what my ears were hearing. A SURGEON! I’M NOT HAVING SURGERY!!! I FELT NUMB!…
The next day my husband and I returned to hear the surgeon explain there was a tumor. For him to know if it were cancer, he would have to do a biopsy. He could not even feel the lump! I had no warning that there was anything wrong! I felt like my mind was transformed to another place. I felt numb. What I was hearing COULD NOT have been happening to me!
The following Monday, the surgeon performed a biopsy. I remember the room having LOTS of lights. I laid there with my right breast revealed to the whole world. There was no modesty in the room. He explained he was going to insert a numbing needle. He said it would feel like a bee sting. Evidently, I did not remember what a bee sting felt like. OH MY!!!! IT HURT SOOO BAD!!! Then he did a second numbing shot. After the numbing needle pain dissipated, he extracted tissue for the biopsy. It was sent away to be tested for cancer. He also inserted a metal clip so future testing would show exactly where the tumor was located.
My husband and I a few days later met with the surgeon for the results of the biopsy. I was scared. I had prayed that it would be benign. I sure hoped my God would give me a miracle. However, when the surgeon stated that it was CANCER, internally I screamed with all my being. THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING TO ME!!!!
The surgeon took out a piece of paper and began drawing the shape of a breast. He explained where the tumor was and that I would have to have surgery to remove it. He explained I could have a mastectomy or a lumpectomy and the ramifications of both. He said we needed to wait for the final pathology report to come back to understand the type of cancer and the extent of treatment.
In the meantime, it was recommended I get Genetic testing. Two of my aunts as well as my dad, had breast cancer. Because of that, they felt it necessary to determine if the cancer was genetic. Therefore, if it was, there was a greater chance of passing it down through my children. I had an appointment to discuss this with the Nurse Navigator. She explained the importance of the Genetic testing.
During that meeting I will never forget the bomb shell that fell on me. She pulled out a folder and explained in medical terms the type of cancer the pathology report showed. She explained I would have to have surgery, chemo, radiation, and five years of hormone suppressants. I had no idea she was going to give me the pathological results. I thought the appointment was just regarding the discussion of Genetic Testing. From my reaction she could tell I was upset. She said I would feel better once she got through all the literature in her folder. NO WAY! NOTHING IN THAT FOLDER COULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER! I could not wait to run out of her office. I got in my car and called my husband. I told him I was NEVER going to another appointment by myself again. I cried all the way home.
MY WHOLE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!!! I could not believe this was happening to me. For years I tried so hard to stay away from toxins and harmful chemicals so that I would not get cancer. HOW IN THE WOLRD COULD THIS BE HAPPENING TO ME??? I internally screamed; no way was I going to poison my body with chemo. NO! NO! NO!
I asked one of my doctors why I had cancer. He said because I was a woman and lived in the United States. Women get breast cancer and in the United states there are toxins all around us and stress of life is bad. I have no proof, but I really think stress caused my cancer. I will explain more in another post. I had been terribly upset with someone for about a year before my diagnosis. I had tried hard to forgive her but was not successful. I internally lived in trauma. Emotional stress can cause physical problems. That is why I really think the stress I had lived through, maybe caused my cancer.
After I somewhat calmed down, we made the decision to have the Genetic BRCA test. I felt it was important to know if it was genetic for my children’s sake. I do praise the Lord that it came back negative. FINALLY, some good news! That was such a relief because I do not want my children or grandchildren to have to ever go through this.
As you can tell, I was shocked to get the news I had cancer. I was numb thinking of what the future held. I was encouraged by someone who had gone through breast cancer locally to get a second opinion before I made any future decisions.
Next, I will share where we went from here, additional tests that were performed and the type of surgery chosen.
I want to leave you with an encouraging scripture. “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NLT)
No matter what you are going through. Be encouraged that God is with you and can help you through it.
Please join me on the next step of my journey…..
